Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nothing's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 13th, 2006
12:58 am	?... i've been good lately i think i know why but i'd rather not if i knew why exactly i'm doing so fine i'm afraid it'll just stop i finally get to go to the doctor wednesday 11:30 i hope they fix my foot i believe.... distance is relative to time when it comes to the things you love the further you are from what you love the slower time will pass not even necessarily distance as in actual measurable distance if you are unable to directly interact with what you love most time comes to an agonizing skid or is it that your perception is increased you are so painfully aware of every moment you are stuck in slow motion you can't just fade out and forget of your own existence if you are contemplating someone else's if you heighten your awareness your world will slow down flies think faster than humans that is why our reaction time seems slower than theirs that is why they can live a full life in 24 hours if you can make yourself more aware of each second that passes you will be that much closer to having the time to see everything that happens you will see your opportunities before they are gone you can learn how to exist at your fullest potential instead of see your life as a track with th obvious obstacles think of it as your floating in a pool everything around you can effect and is effected by you every voluntary or involuntary action will affect something i kinda wanted to see if that made sense to anyone else it was just on my mind Current Mood: blank (4 Replys |Comment)
Friday, September 29th, 2006
12:00 am	nothin like a hug from big mamma thornton i should be in bed now. people are coming to my house tomorrow, and spending the night i'm shivering and it's hard to type it doesn't seem so bad if you say i've just got a case of the blues foot is jacked leadbelly is it weird to take three or four or six ibu 600s and still hurt i've been drawing lately ray charles would have been better without the backup singers is it easier to love someone if they're dead staunion's suck balls i think my mom is waking up everything sends flares to the nerves in my brain the green treasure island cup the orange marker the plastic pine tree sitting on my vcr 12:12 make a wish why can't i be tired now and awake during school dave dragon? here's a trick (never mind you wouldn't have wanted to read that anyways) if only i would have lived in the atlantic years is this a cushion because i think i might need it i can't stop loving you no mater how much i try to bash it out i think my knuckle it still fractured happy or sad fact or fiction i find myself lost within my own diction well the wrath of the hydra has come she says i have to sleep sorry for wasting time with my jumble up garbage thoughts good night Current Mood: blues (1 Reply |Comment)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
1:19 am	~ALL NEW~ ~CHEESY~ ~FURRY CUNT~ ~BALLS~ why is it always harder when people ask you if you're ok it's like if you pretend like you're ok and they're ok then everything is fine 1 day apart and it feels like my insides have been torn out he didn't leave alone, he left with a part of me the part that had a hope for something better you can say i'm over reacting i don't give a shit from this point on it will never be the same i've lost my stone the very thing to which i clung like a leech i don't know what's worse either being out in public hiding behind fake smiles and false standards or being alone and coming to terms with the truth god this is cheesier than a god damn break up entry...sorry this is not goodbye just see you later Current Mood: depressed (Comment)
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
4:29 am	hello? i've decided that i need to hangout with you you as in any of my friends that might be reading this but if you don't want to that's ok but if you do want to hang out call me or something oh yea and if you haven't seen it, rent and watch American History X p.s. i love you p.s.s. shit happens. Current Mood: aiden (Comment)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
12:55 am	trip was lotsa of fun. biked well over 100 miles in 3 days(fantastic) rode a flow board (awesome!) swam in a dam that was posted -do not swim within 50 feet of dam- (mega fun) belly flopped twice (ow?) crashed my bike (karma) got back in town and rode some more (maybe a bad idea) updated my lj (waste of my life) glad to be back love... Current Mood: Aiden (1 Reply |Comment)
Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
8:07 am	riding my bike to pentwater be back friday (1 Reply |Comment)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
1:46 am	umm.... about time you fucking shit off? (Comment)
Friday, July 7th, 2006
4:23 pm	HELLO again my dearest friends so update time again,..'l[]] shaved my head... it's grown back to fuzzy now i have my level one license now... whopeee. lately i've been obsessed w/ Trivium, Killswitch engage, Don Ellis, Guitar Hero, giving people tattoos, cooking, my new mac, bike riding went to the UNHOLY ALLIANCE last night: Thine Eyes Bleed Children Of Bodom Mastodon Lamb Of God Slayer i'm losing a friend that is so into himself he doesn't know it anyways it's been a while and i miss you guys so... I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'd like to have a little party so i can see all my friends again but i don't know when i could do it so if you guys have ideas call me or comment or something. oh yea it's kinda a birthday party but don't worry about getting me anything i'd rather just have people come hang out. i love you all hope to see you soon Current Mood: confused (Comment)
Sunday, June 11th, 2006
2:19 am	chaippee skurrthdaiee chu meee..................................... p.s. this is what part of the alpha bet would look like if Q and R were eliminated (1 Reply |Comment)
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
4:26 pm	chirp chirp (5 Replys |Comment)
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
11:54 am	see ya well if i forgot to tell you i'm probably on my way to georgia by the time you read this. even though i'm going cuz my grandfather is dying i think it'll be fun. i'm going to miss you all like crazy, but i'll be back sometime next week. i think i need a break from muskegon anyways, it's kinda been killin me. i'll probably try to take some cool pics and do fun stuff. well g2gmf i'll tell you all aboot it when i get back. Current Mood: apathetic (Comment)
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
10:05 pm	cemetery gates well today was waking up ass early w/ almost no sleep finding out i couldn't stay for breakfast until i realized i actually could going to school meeting foreigners overcast and rainy full of saints and sinners double double the last day of my dear friend mary's life... the first time i have cried in a long time standing in the rain returning a tux that was soaked and muddy way too many daydreams of my own death for one day passing the cemetery gates Current Mood: detatched (1 Reply |Comment)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
2:37 am	fun night at pete's but... 1dk w7f 15 901n9 0n, 0 + 1f u k4n r34d pl3453 c0m3n7, 1m 50 l0n3l33... sh17, l337 15 my 0n3l33 fr13nd. bu7 wh0 n33d5 fr13nd5 wh3n 1 h4v3 4 n3w m4c 4nd l337 Current Mood: numb (1 Reply |Comment)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
10:19 am	BULLSHIT i have to play trombone during fall season. i'm pissed Current Mood: pissed off (Comment)
12:23 am	somebody please tell me WTF? (Comment)
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
5:21 pm	surfacing Running out of ways to run I can't see, I can't be Over and over and under my skin All this attention is doing me in! Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me! Picking through the parts exposed Taking shape, taking shag Over and over and under my skin All this momentum is doing me in! Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me! You got all my love, livin' in your own hate Drippin' hole man, hard step, no fate Show you nuthin', but I ain't holdin' back Every damn word I say is a sneak attack When I get my hands on you Ain't a fuck thing you can do Get this cuz you're never gonna get me I am the very disease you pretend to be I am the push that makes you move Current Mood: pissed (Comment)
Monday, April 10th, 2006
6:30 pm	howdy so not much new here. hair cut tell me what you think if you really want i just found out i'm gonna miss state festival for band i'm leaving for georgia may 5th my grandfather is dying.. ::cough cough:: um i mean my grandfather is having a birthday party (his last) i'm going to be gone for a couple days i don't even know if i really want to go. by now he's pretty much gone crazy and should be staying in a hospital or something speaking of crazy ex-girlfriends leave the funniest messages~ "i really miss hanging out with you and all your friends. it was happy times then. i wish i had happy times still. my life is so boring again. watching video games and sleeping. i've been writing a lot in my notebook and a lot of it is sad and how miserable i feel. it saddens me to realize how unhappy i am again. i don't know why i'm writing you, but i am. i just thought i might inform you on how i'm doing outside of school and all that boring, unimportant stuff. i have to tell you some things because i think you should know. at night, i lie in my bed and think of you and how happy you made me. i think about how horrible of a person i am because basicly i played with your heart and made you fall in love with me and then i teased you and then left you. i can't help but hate myself for hurting you. i hate myself for ever bringing myself into your life. i should have known nothing would ever work, but i was too excited that i was happy again and that i made you happy. but now all i do is make you sad because you can't have me, and that i broke your heart. i wish i could make you understand how sorry i am for these things. but all you really know is the word sorry, which probably means nothing because it's just a word. but i really do mean it. and i hope these things won't interfere with our friendship. i know they have and will but i wish they didn't. we have to rebuild a friendship because when we had one it grew into more and then it was all lost. so now we have to start over, which is VERY hard for me to do. i always think about how badly i wish i had done more with you. i think about that and then realize that if i had done more with you that it would only cause more pain so i guess that's a good thing i hadn't. but i do think about it all the time. when i see you in the halls i just want to push you against a wall and um do things. but i know i will never do that unless i can't keep my feelings locked up. maybe they will end up getting lose and if so, i'm sorry again for that. i don't mean to make you think that we could ever have something again, because i think that would be very bad in the end. but i do want more than this. i wish it everyday. but yeah... this is going to be very weird when you read this i'm betting because i'm being so honest but honesty is good, right? i think so. well i have always been honest with you and maybe i shouldn't have been because in the end it murdered your heart into a million pieces. but i'm sorry... i'm sure you are tired of hearing that but it's so true. (sigh) i don't know what else to tell you. deep down i really do still love you. and please don't think that when i told you i love you i didn't mean it, because i did with every part of me. i still do. but i'm trying my hardest to move on and forget about us. (wow that sounded horribly mean) but it's true. i need to forget about you and you need to forget about me. but it's so hard when i see you everyday. i think i'm always going to have feelings for you. i shock myself when i think about how fast i fell in love with you. i've never fell that fast. and have only loved a couple people the way i love you. and its hard for me because i love two people right now. i've never been in this situation before so i'm confused. but i'm slowly pulling myself together again. but every piece i get back something else falls apart and i just want to quit the game of life and the hurtful game of love. but i'm done talking about my feelings they are breaking me apart telling them to you, but i thought you should know how i feel on the inside, behind the fake smiles and happy appearance. note: when i smile because of you they are NEVER fake. well i love you still. and i hope that doesn't kill you because you heard it from me. but i do. and i hope to hear back from you on this. please tell me how you feel on the inside. please let me know how much i have hurt you because i would like to know. good night" WTF later Current Mood: crazy (Comment)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
8:20 pm	this fell out of me the other day 1 single tear 1 tear clinging to the very eye that so readily shed it it finds itself falling falling through darkness then it lands, soft as a feather but it does not know that it has began to crush it's foundation the same thing that saw it falling the same thing that tries to support it cracking under the immense weight of the tear's sorrow, it's not strong enough but what the tear has landed on is alive, well barely alive it's merely a shell of something that used to be at the moment the tear touched the shell the shell felt the warmth of the tear seep into it the shell had felt the dampness of his sad salty friend it was faintly familiar it reminded the shell of almost human-like emotions it reminded the shell of a long time ago it did not, however, remember them being so deep it's emotions had been thinned like a young bulimic girl the deepest feeling for the shell now was when it could finally make it through the first, dead, layers of it cracked and drying skin. but now it was almost like it had become a part of the tear seeping out real feelings like a leech now that it has attached itself to the tear it can feel with the depth of a lake, it can fell with the depth of an ocean, the depth of the world, the universe, with the depth of god maybe if the poor tear knew it was crushing the shell she could go away but now it's too late the shell has attached himself so securely that if the tear tries to leave it would pull the shell inside out guts, blood, entrails all start to surface every time the tear distances itself the shell loves the tear because it has been it's only company in the darkness the tear reminds the shell of happiness something it lost a long time ago it is reminded of times when it lived, laughed, flew above the world but it knows the tear will leave it it knows it's sick fantasy will have to end the tear will either run away or wait for it's heavy heart crushes the shell's chest stopping it's slowly beating, dust covered, "heart" leaving the shell paralyzed and broken but the shell already know this this is why he sheds 1 single tear an exact replica of so many things he's tried to produce so many different stories but all the same end pushing forcing him to give up whispering to him that it's just a waste of time whispering the seductive song of suicide 1 single tear in remembrance of his love Current Mood: ummmm. ming? (Comment)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
8:10 pm	getin in the boat, or gettin in the truck, and agettin on the road, and a hittin on my wife? so the last month or two i've kinda been just sad. well it sucks so i think i'll stop. or at least try. not much is new besides i got adobe premier pro 7 which kicks ass. and oh yeah i'm only going to prom with THE COOLEST CHICK EVA. i can't wait, i'm super geeked. i think it's probably going to be the most fun i've had in a long time. (1 Reply |Comment)
Sunday, January 1st, 2006
11:48 pm	hello friends and a happy new year this entry goes out to a certain friend of mine. i'm pretty sure you know who i'm talking about. and i know that if you don't comment on this post i swear to god i will carve every last letter of your name into my chest with this broken glass bottle sitting next to me. but who knows i might do it anyway.(hee hee hee hee hee) (7 Replys |Comment)